To just give you a brief glimpse of what i have been experiencing:
Last June my mother qualified for hospice care and we did not expect for her to live very long. She is much improved at this time and is still with us.
My oldest son returned home when his housing situation didn't work out. He was not well in his physical body. His condition was very serious. My husband and I were afraid he might not recover. His temp job ended shortly after moving back home.
My husband was experiencing not being well in his physical body and he works a very physical job.
All around me it seemed that my loved ones were not well.
My first concern was that I must remain healthy in order to be of any help to my loved ones.
All of us are caretakers at some level. We take care of our children, our spouses , our elderly parents, and our pets who are sometimes like out children. Our friends and neighbors sometimes need our loving care too.
It can get really tricky deciding how much attention and care to give someone who appears to need us. I have read that all physical pain is a call for love.
For me, these last few months have been a dance. Each day I check in with my higher self first thing in the morning. I ask myself what do I need today? I also have learned to speak up more and to ask for help from my siblings, and my friends.
Some days I have needed to do nothing. On those days I light candles, pray to my God , usually giving thanks for my good health and all of the blessings I enjoy in my life. I also sit quietly and listen for any messages that might be waiting for me.
Right before all of these things were coming into my awareness about my loved ones, I thought I knew what I wanted. I had a plan to promote my coaching business, get my web site up and running, hold more workshops and speaking engagements. I was excited for things to move forward in the way that I had envisioned them.
As you can imagine, when we have expectations that can not be fulfilled, our thinking causes us to suffer. I felt sad about my dream taking a back seat to caring for my loved ones. I also knew that I would need to take self love to a whole new level to stay happy and healthy myself.
One thing I do to keep myself healthy and happy is Bodytalk. Its been a life saver for me. Do some research if it sounds interesting to you. I also love walking in nature or just sitting in my back yard and looking at the trees.
For each of you self love will look very different. If you do not know what self love is, its time to do some research and to see what brings you peace and joy.
My mother is much improved now and my son and I actually became closer during his stay here as we researched what we could do to improve our food that we were both eating. His health is also much improved. He is living on his own now and cooking in new ways. My husband has committed to taking steps to improve his physical health. He is going to the Chiropractor more often and is also committed to better self care.
Looking back, its easy for me to see now why things did not work out. We can have a plan for our lives, and its also important to be flexible about what else the universe has in store for us.
Now I'm eating better that I ever have thanks to my oldest son. I have learned a whole new way of cooking, which I had resisted for years and I too am healthier. Who knew?
My relationship with my siblings and my mom has improved because we all needed to pull together and it has helped me grow immensely.
My husband is doing better with his physical health and he is also eating better!
Giving up the resistance to what I thought my life was supposed to look like has enhanced my life 10 fold.
What I could not see a few months ago has now been revealed in the looking back. I guess we are not supposed to know how it is going to turn out...its the dance that Garth Brooks sings about, and the unanswered prayers. This is life!
All my love,
Muse Mary
